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Running on the hamster wheel

Running on the hamster wheel - Bernard Smith

It’s been a while since I wrote something in here. Actually it’s been a while since I had the time to sit down and gather my thoughts. Lately, I have been running the human hamster wheel, or at least it felt like it. I have been running in circles, trying to figure it out why everything around me was falling apart.

After months of chasing for new customers, I finally got two contracts for Edmonton paving. Nothing big, just something to keep me going through the winter. When my ex-partner left, along with him went all our customers.

That’s when all my troubles started. First, he told me he wanted to sell the company. When I disagreed and asked for a few months to gather the money, he refused. Then he decided to leave and steal all the clients.

Shortly after, my wife and I started to have problems. Whoever says money has nothing to do with love or marriage, is deluding him. Or maybe, it’s only me who got unlucky?! Although she insisted that money was not the issue, she dropped me like an old sock, the minute our joint account was empty.

I was heartbroken for a few months, but then I saw everything clearly. Our marriage was not meant to be. We knew each other only for a month when we decided to marry. My family warned me about her, but I did not want to listen to any of them.

After she was gone, it made no sense to keep on staying in the loft. The rent was high and the bills were piling up. I cut my losses short, and moved back to my old apartment, where my brother was living for the moment. I didn't mind some company.

I knew that it was better for my psyche to have someone around when I was feeling blue. I didn't want to get back to my old drinking habits. Also, I didn't want him to start paying me rent. Thus we made an agreement that he could stay for free, as long as he would cook for me.

Although he never attended any cooking school, he is an amazing chef. I told him several times that I wouldn't mind investing in something with him, as soon as I landed back on my feet. With his cooking skills, we could open a resto together, and do something we’d really like, instead of running in this hamster wheel.

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